The Babies Love Their Quotes

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am!

Quotes To Remember Them By...

  1. "Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."  (Dave Barry)
  2. "Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."  (Groucho Marx.)
  3. "Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?"  (Unknown)
  4. "Ever consider what they must think of us?  I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul—chicken, pork, half a cow.  They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"  (Anne Tyler)
  5. "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." - (Rita Rudner)
  6. "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."  (Joe Weinstein)
  7. "You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."   (Nora Ephron)
  8. "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."  (Ann Landers)
  9. * "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." (Dereke Bruce)
  10. "Cat's Motto:  No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."  (Unknown)
  11. "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."  (Christopher Morley)
  12. "I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it." - (Abraham Lincoln)
  1. "To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." Aldous Huxley
  2. "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." Robert Benchley
  3. "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." Sue Murphy
  4. "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." August Strindberg
  5. "No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." Fran Lebowitz
  6. "Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean,here we comeback from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork,half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" Anne Tyler"
  7. I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." Rita Rudner
  8. "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is  up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." Joe Weinstein
  9. "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." James Thurber
  10. "You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." Nora Ephron
  11. "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence thatyou are wonderful." Ann Landers
  12. "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." Robert A. Heinlein
  13. "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
  14. "Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" Dr. Tom Cat
  15. "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."Ben Williams
  16. "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." Edward Abbey
  17. "Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong,always try to make it look like the dog did it." Unknown
  18. "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail." Unknown
  19. "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." Christopher Morley
  20. "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." Josh Billings
  21. "Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." Holbrook Jackson
  22. "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." Andrew A. Rooney
  23. "He is your friend, your partner, your defender,your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." Unknown
  24. "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." Mark Twain
  25. "Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." Smiley Blanton
  26. "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
  27. They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered? --Larry Reeb
  28. I went to an exclusive kennel club. It was very exclusive. There was a sign out front: "No Dogs Allowed." --Phil Foster
  29. He that lieth down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas. --Ben Franklin
  30. If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. --Mark Twain
  31. I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me. --Jimi Celeste
  32. When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later. --Erma Bombeck
  33. Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, "Attack!" And he has one. All he does is piddle. He's nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks. --Phillis Diller
  34. They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat! --David Letterman
  35. I bought my grandmother a Seeing Eye dog. But he's a little sadistic. He does impressions of cars screeching to a halt. --Larry Amoros
  36. I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways. I make them wear little hats so I can use the car-pool lanes. --Monica Piper
  37. A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself.  --Josh Billings
  38. The dog that will follow everbody ain’t worth a curse.  --Josh Billings.
  39. If dogs could talk, perhaps we’d find it just as hard to get along with them as we do people.  --Karel Capek 1890-1938 Czech Journalist.
  40. You never realize a dog is a man’s best friend until you start betting on horses.
  41. Dogs are lousy poker players. When the get a good hand they wag their tails.
  42. adies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen.
    --George Bernard Shaw 1856 British Dramatist.
  43. The more I see of men the more I like dogs. --Madame de Stael 1766-1817 French social leader.
  44. When a man’s dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama. --Mark Twain.
  45. The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other. --Josh Billings.
  46. A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
    --Ogden Nash
  47. Both humans and dogs love to play well in adulthood, and individuals from both species occasionally display evidence of having a conscience. --John Winokur, American Writer
  48. The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor. --Margot Kaufman, American writer
  49. Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book; inside of a dog, it is very dark.--Groucho Marx.
  50. My little dog -- a heartbeat at my feet. --Edith Wharton.
  51. If a dog's prayers were answered, bones would rain from the sky. --Old Proverb
  52. A dog is like an eternal Peter Pan, a child who never grows old and who therefore is always available to love and be loved. --Aaron Katcher, American Educator and Psychiatrist
  53. Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. --Corey Ford, American writer
  54. What kind of life a dog... acquires, I have sometimes tried to imagine by kneeling or lying full length on the ground and looking up. The world then becomes strangely incomplete: one sees little but legs.
    --E.V. Lucas, English writer
  55. Fifth Avenue is too expensive for anyone but dogs. --Mel Finkelstein, Daily News
  56. My dog can bark like a Congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press secretary, and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings. --Gerold Solomon, US Congressman
  57. Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative. --Mordecai Siegal, Contemporary Writer
  58. Being patted is what it is all about. --Roger Caras.
  59. Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on.
  60. Some dogs live for praise they look at you as if to say "Don't throw balls... just throw bouquets." --Jhordis Anderson, American Painter
  61. They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell. --Emily Dickenson
  62. In the late summer afternoon, when the teacups were cleared, and the family went inside... the dogs who are no longer under human command, find delight in the company of each other. --Joe Dunnea, Irish Writer