"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of
dogs." Aldous Huxley
- "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
times before lying down." Robert Benchley
- "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think
that's how dogs spend their lives." Sue Murphy
- "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the
guts to bite people themselves." August Strindberg
- "No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely
certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." Fran Lebowitz
- "Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean,here we comeback from
a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork,half a cow.
They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" Anne Tyler"
- I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious
cult." Rita Rudner
- "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents
a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." Joe Weinstein
- "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." James Thurber
- "You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with
pets." Nora Ephron
- "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence thatyou are
wonderful." Ann Landers
- "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." Robert A. Heinlein
- "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should
have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." Dereke
Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
- "Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one
of the most fond memories!" Dr. Tom Cat
- "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."Ben
- "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." Edward
- "Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong,always try to make it
look like the dog did it." Unknown
- "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his
- "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the
dog does." Christopher Morley
- "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
- "Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." Holbrook Jackson
- "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." Andrew A.
- "He is your friend, your partner, your defender,your dog. You are his
life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true to the last
beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." Unknown
- "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." Mark Twain
- "Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great
Dane." Smiley Blanton
- "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt,
and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
- They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of
your friends have you neutered? --Larry Reeb
- I went to an exclusive kennel club. It was very exclusive. There was a sign
out front: "No Dogs Allowed." --Phil Foster
- He that lieth down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas. --Ben Franklin
- If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. --Mark Twain
- I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure,
she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me. --Jimi Celeste
- When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack
and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
- Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German shepherd that bites its nails? Barks
with a lisp? You say, "Attack!" And he has one. All he does is piddle. He's
nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks. --Phillis Diller
- They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why
screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat! --David Letterman
- I bought my grandmother a Seeing Eye dog. But he's a little sadistic. He
does impressions of cars screeching to a halt. --Larry Amoros
- I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways. I make
them wear little hats so I can use the car-pool lanes. --Monica Piper
- A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves
himself. --Josh Billings
- The dog that will follow everbody ain’t worth a curse. --Josh Billings.
- If dogs could talk, perhaps we’d find it just as hard to get along with
them as we do people. --Karel Capek 1890-1938 Czech Journalist.
- You never realize a dog is a man’s best friend until you start betting on
- Dogs are lousy poker players. When the get a good hand they wag their tails.
- adies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not
in the kitchen.
--George Bernard Shaw 1856 British Dramatist.
- The more I see of men the more I like dogs. --Madame de Stael 1766-1817
French social leader.
- When a man’s dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk
and go home to mama. --Mark Twain.
- The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind
of business than any other. --Josh Billings.
- A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
- Both humans and dogs love to play well in adulthood, and individuals from
both species occasionally display evidence of having a conscience. --John
Winokur, American Writer
- The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor. --Margot Kaufman,
- Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book; inside of a dog, it is
very dark.--Groucho Marx.
- My little dog -- a heartbeat at my feet. --Edith Wharton.
- If a dog's prayers were answered, bones would rain from the sky. --Old Proverb
- A dog is like an eternal Peter Pan, a child who never grows old and who
therefore is always available to love and be loved. --Aaron Katcher, American
Educator and Psychiatrist
- Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. --Corey Ford, American
- What kind of life a dog... acquires, I have sometimes tried to imagine by
kneeling or lying full length on the ground and looking up. The world then
becomes strangely incomplete: one sees little but legs.
--E.V. Lucas, English writer
- Fifth Avenue is too expensive for anyone but dogs. --Mel Finkelstein, Daily
- My dog can bark like a Congressman, fetch like an aide, beg like a press
secretary, and play dead like a receptionist when the phone rings. --Gerold
Solomon, US Congressman
- Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a
relative. --Mordecai Siegal, Contemporary Writer
- Being patted is what it is all about. --Roger Caras.
- Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on.
- Some dogs live for praise they look at you as if to say "Don't throw balls...
just throw bouquets." --Jhordis Anderson, American Painter
- They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell. --Emily
- In the late summer afternoon, when the teacups were cleared, and the family
went inside... the dogs who are no longer under human command, find delight
in the company of each other. --Joe Dunnea, Irish Writer