A Collection Of Humor And Thoughts

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

Consider These Simple Thoughts

Thought

Thought and thinking are mental forms and processes, respectively ("thought" is both.) Thinking allows beings to model the world and to deal with it effectively according to their objectives, plans, ends and desires. Words referring to similar concepts and processes include cognition, sentience, consciousness, idea, and imagination. Thinking involves the cerebral manipulation of information, as when we form concepts, engage in problem solving, reason and make decisions. Thinking is a higher cognitive function and the analysis of thinking processes is part of cognitive psychology.

Easy Ones To Remember

  1. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.
  2. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  3. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
  4. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
  5. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

  6. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
  7. I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.
  8. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
  9. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
  10. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

  11. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
  12. Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
  13. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  14. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  15. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

  16. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
  17. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
  18. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
  19. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
  20. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

  21. Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
  22. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
  23. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
  24. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
  25. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

  26. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
  27. I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.
  28. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.