A Collection Of Humor And Thoughts

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

Additional Items To Ponder

  1. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  2. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
  3. Why is the word abbreviation so long?
  4. Is it possible to be totally partial?
  5. What's another word for thesaurus?
  6. If a book about failure doesn't sell, is it a success?
  7. If a funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
  8. What do they pack styrofoam in?
  9. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, does it make a sound?
  10. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
  11. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
  12. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
  13. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  14. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  15. If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?
  16. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
  17. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
  18. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  19. If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights, what happens?
  20. Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
  21. Is there another word for synonym?
  22. When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs?
  23. What does Geranimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
  24. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is that considered a hostage situation?
  25. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
  26. Why isn't there a mouse flavored cat food?
  27. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?
  28. Why do corn flakes and Sugar Frosted Flakes have the same number of calories per serving?
  29. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
  30. Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?
  31. Why don't penguins ever get frostbite?
  32. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
  33. Why don't we get goosebumps on our faces?
  34. Why do we have to dry clean rain coats?
  35. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
  36. Why do you park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
  37. Why did God give men nipples?
  38. How do I set my laser printer on stun?
  39. Is it possible to have a civil war?
  40. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
  41. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  42. If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons?
  43. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
  44. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  45. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
  46. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of the song?
  47. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
  48. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move ten miles away?
  49. Is Atheism a non-prophet organization?
  50. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live?
  51. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
  52. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses
  53. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
  54. Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
  55. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?