- My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, and we don't know where she is.
- The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
- I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up.
- I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
- I don't exercise at all. If God meant for us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.
- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
- If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
- I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.