Celebrities Fun Voyage
Subject: Fun Cruise For our Favorite Celebrities
We at Karnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W. Bush became President.
With that in mind, we have a special offer for those who want to keep their promise!
Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell, Cher, Phil Donahue, David Gephin, Barbara Streisand, Pierre Salinger and anyone else who made the promise, please report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elated," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes.
The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise. The parade will occur on a hot summer evening so your constituents can come outside the bars/brothels to see you off!
Please pack for an extended stay...at least four years. Your captain is to be Bill Clinton and your cruise director, Mr. Fun, will be Al Gore. All food will be supplied by McDonalds as a tribute to the Captain.
Monica Lewinsky will be your recreation director supplying knee pads and cigars to you free of charge! Ted Kennedy will act as lifeguard and supervise swimming instructions. He will also teach a course in emergency procedures. Your spiritual advisor will be the Rev. Jesse Jackson.
If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Clinton.
Her village can raise your children while you're gone and she can watch over all your money and furnishings until you return.