The Old Remedies Are BEst
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the
Too complex to handle!
- If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The
blockage will be almost instantly removed.
- Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
- Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
- For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in
your veins. Remember to use a timer.
- A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after
you hit the snooze button.
- If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
- Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
- Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.If
it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.