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Old Ranch Country Club Not For The Faint Of Heart

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Adventures At Old Ranch

Golf is not just a game of striking the ball, it sometimes is an adventure into the strange world of animals.  Below are some of the adventures we have participated in around the greens of Old Ranch Country Club.

Playing golf is not just hitting the ball... It is observing one's surroundings!

Once Upon A Time There Was A Mad Duck!

Old Ranch Duck-A-Gator
An Old Ranch Duck-A-Gator spotted on the 10th hole

OK, lets start out slow!  On this day in July there were ducks... ferocious ducks with huge teeth in their bills! 

Minding our own business we were accosted for crackers by a herd of ducks at the 10th hole! 

After the feeding, they proceeded to put on a small wrestling match for us. 

Ducks charging each other, calling each other names (we think that was the case as none of us speak fluent duck), and biting and pulling out each others feathers. 

After a bite, they ducks would be coughing up feathers just like in the cartoons!  Feathers everywhere!  Where was the movie camera when we needed it? It was horrible (horribly funny). 

Before we were allowed to leave and proceed with the game, we had to be frisked by the ducks to make sure the players were not hoarding crackers or other food the ducks liked! Ever been frisked by a duck?

Tall stories at Old Ranch
Their beady little eyes strike fear into even the biggest golfer!  You can almost hear them say "Your crackers or your ball!"

Tall stories at Old Ranch One had to be careful as a sudden move could cause the duck herd to swarm.

James And The Flying Gopher!

Red Tailed Hawk Flying Gopher

The stars of the adventure

While proceeding to set up for another magnificent shot, our friend James yells "Look, Up Up In The Sky.. A Bird, A Plane, No... A Flying  Gopher". 

Of course we know James so we thought he was just trying to distract our concentration from the game but... he was correct!

Up in the sky was a red tailed hawk carrying his new found friend who was a gopher.  It was delightful to see these two wild animals enjoying a game of "how high can we go".  We stopped playing and pointed to the sky where you could almost hear the swooping and swishing sounds the two friends played frantically over the 15th hole. (Click the images for a close-up) of our little stars doing their famous act above the links at Old Ranch.

Tall stories at Old Ranch
James proceeds to the green after watching this playful activity.

Tall stories at Old Ranch
The speed of his swing makes the ducks laugh!

Notice the stance and terrific club speed. The club is almost invisible to the camera's eye.  The great whooshing sound frightened the playmates away and they flew off to another location on the grounds of Old Ranch where we assumed they had lunch together! We wished them happy playing!

James and Paul Spot A Nessiteras Rhombopteryx At Old Ranch!

It is true.  While minding our own business and without the aid of any pointing fluid, we both spot Nessie just moving along the south side of the lake. For those of you unaware of a Nessiteras Rhombopteryx:

Loch Ness Monster of Old Ranch
Nessie swims at Old Ranch

The Loch Ness Monster (Nessiteras rhombopteryx) is an alleged animal, identified neither as to a family or species, purportedly inhabiting Scotland's Loch Ness. The Loch Ness Monster is one of the best-known animals studied by cryptozoology. Popular belief and interest in the animal have waxed and waned over the years since it came to the world's attention in 1933.

Evidence of its existence is largely anecdotal, with minimal, and much disputed, photographic material and sonar readings: there has not been any physical evidence (skeletal remains, capture of a live animal, definitive tissue samples or spoor) uncovered as of 2008. Local people, and later many around the world, have affectionately referred to the animal by the diminutive Nessie (Scottish Gaelic: "Niseag") since the 1950s.

Until now, there has been no evidence but James and Paul have evidence!  The monster sheds its skin and we saw a fresh piece of its skin in an Old Ranch golf cart. It was next to some other equipment and a large bag of golf eggs!   The skin was rubber-like and shiny black just like a wet suit!

Tall stories at Old Ranch
It was horrible.. scary.. almost like sinking a 30 foot putt!

James and I screamed attempting to warn the golfers on the sixth hole to be careful as this evil creature might come out of the water.  The golfers looked puzzled and kind of ignored us.  We wondered why?

Tall stories at Old Ranch
It kept looking our way licking its chops

We continued to watch as the monster floated along the shoreline occasionally dipping down to the depths of the lake and returning with its claws full of golf eggs.  It was a frightening site but we survived so we can have additional adventures at Old Ranch!

No Wonder The Mushrooms Are So Fresh At Old Ranch

Old Ranch adventures
Fresh mushrooms sometimes appear.. Don't take them for golf balls! They explode when hit!

James, Sue & Paul Shared These Adventures

But which one is which??

Golf Adventures