We Remember How It Used To Be

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In The Land That Made Me

In The Land
Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot, Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot. There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me, 

Ike
For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born, 

In A Land
Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn

  In The Land Where i Was Raised
We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn, 
 We spread our crinolines to dry in circles on the lawn

In The Land Where i Was Raised
   We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince, 
 And Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since

In The Land Where i Was Raised
 We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee' 
 And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised        
 Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many, 
 And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
 And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see 
 A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised
We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice, 
 And when they made a movie, they never made it twice. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
 We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three, 
 Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
 Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp, 
 And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
 We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T, 
 And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me. 
We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go, 
 At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
 For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be, 
 And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead, 
 And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not Led. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
 And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees, 
 Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars, 
 And babies might be bottle-fed, but they weren't grown in jars. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
 And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free, 
 And dorms were never co-ed in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag, 
 And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
 And Hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea, 
 And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
Buicks came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks, 
 And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
 And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee, 
 And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues, 
 We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea
Or prime-time ads for those dysfunctions  
in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill, 
And fish were not called Wanda , and cats were not called Bill. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
 And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three, 
 And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say, 
And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A. 
 They send us invitations to join AARP, 

In The Land Where i Was Raised
We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised  
 So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans, 
 And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines. 
 And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be, 
 Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me. 

In The Land Where i Was Raised


  We were blessed to have been born during the greatest time in American history.