Thoughts And Ponderisms; Over Fifty Perks
“A man is what he thinks about all day long.”
Perks Of Being Over Fifty!!
- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
- In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
- No one expects you to run . . . anywhere.
- People call at 9 P. M. and ask, "Did I wake you? "
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
- Things you buy now won't wear out.
- You can eat dinner at 4 P. M.
- You can live without sex, but not without glasses.
- You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
- You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks
into the room.
- You sing along with elevator music.
- Your eyes won't get much worse.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
- Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't
remember them either.
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
Old Is When....
"OLD" IS WHEN. . . . . Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and
make love, " and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both! "
"OLD" IS WHEN. . . . . A sexy babe catches your fancy and your
pacemaker opens the garage door.
"OLD" IS WHEN. . . . . Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of
"OLD" IS WHEN. . . . . You don't care where your spouse goes, just
as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN. . . . . You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor
instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN. . . . . "Getting a little action" means I don't need
to take any fiber today.
"OLD" IS WHEN. . . . . "Getting lucky" means you find your car in
the parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN. . . . . An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.