Consider These Thoughts
- Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new
book. It's called ........ 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'
- Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
- The difference between the Pope and your boss, the Pope only
expects you to kiss his ring.
- My mind works like lightning, One brilliant flash and it is
- The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're
in the bathroom.
- I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the
drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
- It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's
shipping and handling, too.
- A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the
impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
- My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a
large trash can.
- A blonde said, 'I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip
me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal
- Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...for enjoying sex.
- As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are
interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt ...'
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: 'Gosh, I remember these.
They, too, will get old.
MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!
MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN ;YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!