James Does In The Mourning Dove May 2010

Paul helps him remember 

Bye Bye Birdie

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Did you know? - A dove or pigeon is a bird of the family Columbidae. The birds can be found everywhere, but the greatest variety is in the areas around Indonesia and Australia. The young doves and pigeons are called "squabs." There are over 300 species of doves.

Pigeons are closely related to sea-gulls; they both live in cities, eat garbage and crap all over your car. A pigeon (not to be confused with the piegon) is a mammal that is commonly eaten in the form of porkeon. Pigeons are part of the family of mammals that either have or do not have trunks, like squirrels. The characteristic sound that the pigeon makes is like oink, oink, oink, for which reason many pigeons have traditionally been locked up in clinics, for it was considered inconceivable that normal people would make oink-like noises like that.

Pigeons have also been known to be evil little buggers and should all be destroyed whenever you see them. There are already many agents working for PHLB or Pigeons are Horrible Little Buggers. Many are disguised as elderly folk feeding pigeons but they are actually secret agents throwing out little cyanide-covered peanuts. If you ever see a pigeon please run to the nearest pile of crap and tell him that there is a code 1062 in progress.

They also have terrible eyesight and cannot catch a little wit ball coming in heir direction at 92 mph! Anyone know of a bird optimologist?