Starlighters Spring Formal (3/16/2019)

Did You Know?

Juan Rodriguez decided to call his Irish father-in-law the “Exorcist” because every time he came to visit he made the spirits disappear.

How are you doing with your New Year’s resolutions? Paddy has been sober for 8 days. Not in a row or anything like that. Just in total.

The wind was frightful last night. Sullivan’s wife sent him out for a quart of milk and he was blown straight into the pub.

Paddy just found his Christmas spirit. It had been waiting on a shelf at the liquor store this whole time.

Paddy said, “I resent the stereotype that the Irish are all violent drunks. We’re perfectly capable of violence when sober.”

Paddy staggered home in the wee small hours after a heavy night out at the pub. Latter when he woke up, he found he was in bed with the dog beside him in his wife's place. "Glory be!" said Paddy. "I must have been really drunk when I got home. Now that I think about it, there was a lot of noise and commotion when I threw the dog out!"

Flynn was reminiscing about the first time he took his son Paddy out for a drink. They went to the local pub, which is only two blocks from their home. Flynn got him a Guinness. Paddy didn't like it - so Flynn drank it. Then Flynn got him a Smithwick's, Paddy didn't like it either, so Flynn drank it. It was the same with the Harp and the Murphy's. By the time they got through the Irish whiskey, Flynn could hardly push the stroller back home.

Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he swerved to avoid a tree, then another, then another. Officer Muldoon pulls him over as he veers about all over the road. Paddy frantically tells the cop about all the trees in the roadway. Officer Muldoon replies "For God's sake Paddy, that's your air freshener swinging about!”

Danny Quinn just read an article about the dangers of drinking and it really scared him. So Danny decided right then and there, that's it, no more reading!