Rondeliers Dance Club; September 13th Lovers!

Remember These -

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't
expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other
parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad
memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with
the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my
hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second
mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend,...But she
left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're
in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough
sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays
off now.

19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy
her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked
into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death
twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your
brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence
that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just
after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism;
to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is
no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll
have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your
body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory;
some just don't have film.

34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not
for you.

And the all-time favorite -

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light,
would your headlights work?