Eternal Truths
Once over the hill, you pick up speed.
I
love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put
it in the food.
If it weren't for STRESS, I'd have no energy at
all.
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just
don't have film.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the
ends.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
We cannot change the direction of the wind...but
we can adjust our sails.
Do you believe in love at first sight...or should
I walk by you again?
If you're too open minded, your brains will fall
out.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any
more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one
you've never tried before.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a
glance.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that
life is serious.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite
government program.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably
need the trip.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed
of checks.
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast
to the real world.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness
of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw
away three weeks before you need it.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted
on.
* Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables
you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't
live long enough to make them all yourself.