I felt young and ready to take on the
world. But when my father died, a terrible
thought hit me. My life was just beginning and I had 40 years to go
until I reached his age. I did not want to retire ad pass on!
It was the first real view of my own
mortality I'd ever got. Of course I always knew I was eventually
going to die, but it seemed like a fantasy. It's a bit like knowing
that Paris exists without having ever actually visited it.
It's when someone close to you - who you
knew when they were young - dies that you really see the
inevitability of your own end. For of course, ultimately we're all
doomed - you, your neighbors, that person you see every day on the
train, the guy at work with the bad attitude, the homeless person
you pass on your way home, the rich people with fancy houses - all
of us.
Our fate is sealed. Nobody in the
history of human kind has ever escaped it.
It's a depressing thought and I don't
mean to get you down, but you can also take something positive from
it. Realizing that your time is short, makes you really focus on how
precious it is. You're only going to be on this Earth for a few
short decades, with billions of years without you on either side.
Many people put little value on their
time. They work in jobs they hate, stay in relationships that make
them miserable, and live in places where they aren't happy. They
squander their precious moments because they're terrified of losing
some money or being put in a situation that might be a little
uncomfortable.
They get themselves up to their eyeballs
in debt just so they can have a house with a view they never look
at, or a fancy car that's the same as any other once the novelty
wears off. They puff themselves up in self-importance over how
important ***THEIR WORK*** is, and to hell with having any fun. They
stress themselves out over tiny, pointless, stupid things that would
be laughably petty if it didn't make them feel so bad.
When you think about just how short time
is, you tend not to do that as much. You realize that it isn't a
bottomless resource to be squandered and traded for any trivial
thing that comes along and demands a bit of it. You think carefully
and deeply about what's important to you - what you're willing to
invest your most valuable resource on and what you're not.
If there are people in your life who try
to make your few short years miserable by forcing their problems and
neuroses onto you, don't let them. You haven't got time to put up
with that kind of stupid garbage.
If there's a situation that's making you
stressed or depressed, think to yourself: "Is it really worth
wasting my precious time on this?" Often, you'll find the answer's
"no".
Of course, the aim should be to maximize
your enjoyment of life, and that means making some sacrifices. We
all have to do things we don't want sometimes in order to get things
we do. But don't get carried away with it, or addicted to sacrifice
for its own sake. Remember that it's a means to an end and not an
end in itself.
This view of life is wonderfully
liberating, I believe. It really helps you sort out what's important
from what's pointless and petty. Once you achieve this state of
mind, you'll come to pity those who don't have it. Unfortunately,
you'll start to notice that they're all around you.
This message is to my daughters and grand-ch9ildren and I hope they understand!