Cooking According To Martha And Sue

The greatest gift of the garden is the restoration of the five senses!

Differences In Cooking Styles (A Humorous Look)

Sue is the best cook in the world making Martha baby look like an amateur... But I had to do a comparison between the two.

The Top 10 Reasons Americans are Overweight:

  1. Hey, we get 80 channels of great American TV 24 hours a day, there's no time to exercise!
  2. "Girl Scout Cookie Dough" gets better tasting every year.
  3.  The colossal failure of "Salad King" drive-thru chain.
  4.  Doing it just to spite Richard Simmons.
  5.  Addition of a diet soda does NOT mean your triple bacon cheeseburger/chili fries combo is a healthy meal.
  6.  Americans still unconvinced that it's not really butter.
  7.  Part of our country's defense strategy:  Asses too large to be kicked.
  8.  Slim Fast shakes taste much better with a scoop of Ben & Jerry's in 'em.
  9.  One word: Sprinkles
        ... and the Number 1 Reason Americans are Overweight:
  10.  "Did somebody say McDonald's?"

 *Martha's Way*

Martha Does It

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

 *Sue's Way *

Sue Dies It Better!!

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Celery?    Never heard of it!

The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Leftover wine???????????  HELLO !!!!!!!