God Help Our Nation
President Mr. Obama; You Worry Me! Socialism Is A Non-Starter Dummy!
Americans With No Abilities Act About To Pass
An example with someone with no abilities... A no ability to think!
Washington,
DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new
benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)
is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions
of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition. 'Roughly 50 percent
of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve
out a meaningful role for themselves in society,' said California
Senator Barbara Boxer.
'We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed
and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able
to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they
have some idea of what they are doing.'
In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi
and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S.
Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing
opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of
postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single
largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.
Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination
against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry
(68%), and home improvement 'warehouse' stores (65%). At the state
government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent
record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).
Under the Americans With No
Abilities Act,
more than 25 million 'middle man' positions will be created, with
important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing
an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance
based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward
mobility for even the most unremarkable employees.
The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that
promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into
middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and
medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every
two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult
to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example,
discriminatory interview questions such as, 'Do you have any skills or
experience that relate to this job?' 'As a Non-abled person, I can't be
expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,' said
Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM
plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her inability to remember rightey
tightey, lefty loosey. 'This new law should be real good for people like
me,' Gertz added.
With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented
citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Senator
Dick Durban (D-IL): 'As a Senator with no
abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy
ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty
as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of
his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great
nation and a good salary for doing so.'
